Introduction

Adolescence is a developmental period of time from 13 yrs. to 18 yrs. of life. During this period of time, exploring, testing, challenging and rebelling are natural parts of teens’ behavior. Adolescence is both an exciting developmental time and a stressful developmental time for both teens and their parents. The PARTI is designed for both teens and parents (or guardians of teens) to identify and share their beliefs about being a teen and parenting a teen. The goal is twofold: 1) for parents and teens to have open and frequent discussions about the issues teens face and the expectations the parents have for their teen son or daughter and, 2) to negotiate their different views perhaps by compromising and finding resolutions that everyone can support. Communication among teens and between teens and their parents/guardians is critical for healthy and nurturing personal growth.

The Five Constructs: Understanding the Results

The PARTI assesses five common areas of teen development. These five areas are called Constructs which represent a summary of the issues that parents and teens will confront during and beyond the teen years. How parents and teens handle these issues will form the basis of their relationship during adolescence and into adult life. A complete description of the constructs is presented later in this document.

Each of the five Construct areas is summarized and presented by letters A, B, C, D and E on the PARTI Profile. Each of the five Construct areas is represented by eight statements which are scattered throughout the inventory. The items represent issues that the parents and teens will face during the most challenging 7 years of their life. In the initial field testing of nearly 200 inventory items with over 1800 parents and teens responding, the 40 items on the PARTI were selected because of the diversity of the responses from parents and teens

Construct A: Attitudes Regarding Teen Stages of Psycho-Social Development.

The PARTI items for Construct A focus on teens being naturally self-centered (32) social beings whose parents serve as their primary role models. Over time, teens pick up many of their parent’s habits and start behaving just like their parents (39). As a result childhood experiences of the parents are then passed down to another generation. A controversial topic for many parents is whether or not to encourage their teens to explore their own sexuality (8). Many teens fear they will be made to feel embarrassed by their parents. Even though having sexual experiences prior to marriage is common in many Western countries, parents and a smaller percentage of teens believe sex is for married adults and not unmarried teens (29).

Adolescence is a period of social exploration and development when teens begin to break away from their parents and set out alone or with friends to explore life. Of primary importance in teens’ lives are their friends who, over time, can become more important than their parents (5). An unknown fact to many parents (and teens as well) is that the teen brain requires around 9 to 10 hours of sleep a night (17). Since this seldom happens because teens are engaged in many social activities, teens have to play catch up by sleeping in on weekends. Unfortunately, in many households, weekends especially Saturdays, have been classified as “clean-up the house day.” As a result, teens are often blamed in many families for being lazy. It is a common belief among many parents that teens should be responsible and help out in the family by occasionally paying for household expenses (12) or occasionally watching their younger brothers/sisters giving parents a break (16). In positive parent-teen relationships, teens accept these tasks as they cooperate in helping their parents. In negative parent-teen relationships, resentment and not cooperation is felt and expressed by the teen who often feels removed from the family.

Construct B: Attitudes Regarding Teens Giving and Receiving Respect and Dignity.

The PARTI items for Construct B focus on both the teens and the parents showing respect for each other and treating each other with dignity. Embedded in showing respect and dignity for each other is the important quality of empathy. When parents and teens respect each other, the message they are sending is “I care about you.” Caring is empathy. The ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person and ask the simple but powerful question: “would I like to be treated the way I am treating my teen son or daughter?” In turn, teens would reflect upon how they are treating their mother or father. Caring is often describe as love. Statements in Construct B reflect a level of dignity by asking the statement should parents respect the privacy of their teens’ social media and networking? (4) .Some parents believe that they should meet each other before their teens begin to date (38). Although exploring different aspects of life is natural for teens to experiment with drinking and drugs (9), many parents feel that drinking, taking drugs and having sex as a teen is the beginning of trouble (24). Some parents believe that transgender teens never had proper male and female role models (27). Other parents believe that if teen sons or daughters say they are gay or lesbian, they just need to meet the right girls or boys (19). Parents are likely to believe that defiance towards parents is learned and is not natural (18). As such, parents need to push their teens to do better (5).

Construct C: Attitudes Regarding Working with Teens to Establish their Discipline.

The items in Construct C reflect the all-important issue of discipline. Discipline means to guide and teach your teens the rights and wrongs of life. Because many parents believe that teens are just hard to get along with (3) they also believe that strict discipline is the best way to raise teens (15). Within the practice of being strict, parents also believe that they need to know where their teens are at all times (23) and believe a certain amount of fear is necessary for teens to respect parents (21).Teens generally disagree with the different types of discipline that parents use to help them learn proper behaviors and make healthy choices. Many teens, as well as professional psychologists, believe that rebelling is an important part of being a teenager (30). Teens feel strongly that parents and teens need to work together in establishing discipline (34) and not just have rules placed on them without their input. Generally teens support grounding as an effective form of punishment for their blatant misbehavior (13). However, even though parents punish their son or daughter when they misbehave, teens need to know that even though they mess up at times, that their parents still love them (36).

Construct D: Attitudes Regarding Teens Roles & Responsibilities within the Family

Roles and responsibilities of teens in their family often present issues of conflict. Teens are seeking their independence from their family at the same time needing to know that they still have their home and parents to come back to when they need support, comforting and security. A number of parents, however, believe that if a teen is old enough to have sex, she is old enough to care for the baby (28). Parents feel strongly that teens have a responsibility to please them (11) which includes comforting them after the parents have argued (22). Many parents believe it’s OK for single parents to consider their teen daughter or son as their best friend (14) which includes sharing their secrets with their teens (1),

Parents indicate that a good teen would never talk back to his/her parents (25) and that curfew should be set by the parents, and teens need to comply (10). Teens, on the other hand, indicate that they should cooperate with their parents rather than obey them (37).

Construct E: Attitudes Regarding Empowering Teens to make Healthy Choices

For many parents, controlling their teens is necessary. They feel strongly that if you give up control, teens will walk all over you (35) such as having a moral obligation to prohibit their teen from wearing offensive tattoos (6). In many households, obedience is necessary and that teens should always obey their parents or parent figures (1). Obedience to them and to all authority figures (31) is necessary because strong-willed teens are likely to create power struggles with their parents (26).

Teens, however, feel it’s OK for them to disobey their parents (20). They also believe that many girls have sex just to be popular (40) and that AIDS is one good reason teens should not have sex (33).

Administering the PARTI to a Classroom of Teens

Good luck. The PARTI, like most inventories, is best administered in a quiet place with only the examiner and the person completing the PARTI. Group administration of the PARTI can provide you some responses that may be more representative of the group and not necessarily of the individual. The items on the PARTI have a way of generating some to a lot of anxiety expressed in laughter and in comments that can be a bit distasteful to others in the room. If you can’t administer the PARTI one-to-one, then administer by group with reminding the class that discussion will occur after everyone has completed the inventory.

After all class members have completed the PARTI, collect the forms and enter the responses on line. Since you are reading this document, an assumption is made that you already know how to enter the data. If the assumption is inaccurate, look for the upper tab labeled Score Assessments. Follow the directions and enter the data. Once the data is entered, print out a copy of the table. Review the class responses. What items generated the most favorable or unfavorable responses? Hand back the students completed copies of the PARTI. Hand out a copy of the table to the students or present the data to the class using a power point presentation. and the PARTI

Administering the PARTI to Families Receiving Services

If you are administering the PARTI to a parent only or to a parent and teen together, the same guidelines apply. See if they can focus on identifying their beliefs rather than commenting. If they begin to find humor and begin laughing, that might not be such a bad thing especially if they are not getting along. The laughter might be the start of reconciliation.

Scoring and Interpreting the Responses

There are two ways to score the responses: go on-line to assessingparenting.com and enter the data. Or casually review the responses with the parent and teen together.

The preferred way is to go on line and enter the data and receive a profile. You will need to establish a user name and password with Family Development Resources.com. Using the computer to enter and score your data is the easiest. A profile of the scores will give everyone an opportunity to see their beliefs on paper. I think the on-line method should definitely be used for families receiving services.

A review of the PARTI Profile presents five columns:

• The first column on the left side of the profile briefly describes the constructs. A greater understanding of the constructs is presented in this document.
• The second column lists the item numbers that both teens and parents agree.
• The third column lists the item numbers that both teens and parents disagree.
• The fourth column lists the item numbers that both teens and parents are uncertain.
• The fifth column provides a listing of the items by Construct. Identifying the items that parents and teens agree, disagree and are uncertain provides the foundation for discussion that leads to understanding and acceptance through negotiation and compromise.

If the family is in a casual conversation with the members completing the inventory for more amusement and entertainment than trying to deal with serious family issues, or if the issues are not truly critical, have one of the family members keep score. Read the item and have people verbally share their response. You can also ask for an explanation for their response. Someone can keep tally and mark for each item who agrees, disagrees or is unsure. It’s a bit like painting a family portrait on issues that can be tough to handle

Compromise and Negotiation: Working Together

The overall goal of negotiation and compromise is to identify common beliefs as well as differences in beliefs. By showing respect to the views of others, an acceptable resolution can be reached that ideally satisfies both parties. By following the steps listed below, teens and parents who are committed in having a positive nurturing relationship can resolve their differences.

Step 1. Respect for the other person’s opinions, views and needs is mandatory for a successful negotiation. Parents and teens have to be respectful to each other especially when they disagree.

Step 2. Parents and teens are encouraged to review the statements that they both agree on first before getting into the disagreement statements. Parents and teens also need to take some time recognizing and discussing their commonalities. Not everything that parents and teens discuss is a difference of opinion. Commonalities are the beliefs that strengthen the teen-parent bond. Discuss the statements in which both parties agree. Why do both parties agree? What is the basis of their agreement?

Step 3. Next, identify the items both parents and teens differ. These are likely areas of disagreement and conflict. Is the conflict a power struggle? Is either the parent or the teen demanding without any room for compromise? What is the basis for the disagreement? Are their hurt feelings involved? Is there pride involved? Does one party feel they are being used or manipulated? Does this issue have a long history of being unresolved? Is there disrespectful communication occurring?

If yes to any of these statements, take a separate 15 minute break to release your stress and return knowing that there is a difference in beliefs. Both parties are probably thinking the other person is wrong. There is an old saying that “two wrongs do not make a right.” If the item in question has been debated for more than 15-20 minutes and no solution has been reached, make a plan to re-open discussion the next day if possible. Show a strong commitment to reaching a resolution. DO NOT abandon the issue or reject the promise to work again on finding a solution by stating “Forget it! We just can’t come to an agreement!” Yes you can! If you can’t reconvene the meeting in one day, try two days and try again. All problems have solutions as all solutions had once been problems.

Step 4. Discuss items in which the parents and/or teens felt uncertain. Find out the basis of uncertainty. Is fear a central part of the uncertainty? Will the teen be punished or emotionally abandoned in believing or not believing the same as the parents? “Uncertain” responses are an answer looking for a question they feel safe in answering. Make the environment safe to hear and discuss statements you don’t accept.